I Am Meta Knight
by PikaknightFT1
Summary: A deadly virus sweeps through Cappytown, killing all but a few. Meta Knight and his cohorts, Sword and Blade, are the only ones left who can find a cure and save Dream Land. Quite possibly the most epic story on this site. Audiofic available on Youtube.


I Am Meta Knight

An Epic Fanfiction by PikaknightFT1

**Prologue**

"Hey, Meta Knight! Why don't you work your magic on the grill?" Tiff yelled.

Meta Knight laughed, flipping a patty a foot into the air. It was three days after the defeat of Nightmare, and a celebratory party was being thrown on board the newly rebuilt Halberd. The citizens of Cappytown were overjoyed.

"How's it goin' Meta Knight?" asked Tuff.

"Very goodly" Meta Knight responded. They showed off their secret handshake to any one watching. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Unfortunately, it was about that time that King Dedede decided to crash the party and show off his new SpeeDDDo. Gasps and screams echoed across the Halberd. Everyone was disgusted with this trashy sense of fashion. Dedede was startled. He had been working out and thought he looked pretty hot. Outrage filled him and took the form of tears. He began to shout.

"All I wanted to do was show you mah' new body and you treat it like garbage!"

Tuff yelled, "We don't mean to insult, but we didn't come here to see your flabby body!" Some laughed at this. It was the horrible truth.

Ever since Dedede was a child he had always been made fun of for being obese. He had always thought his childhood was a nightmare. He thought back to that fateful day when he met Escargoon. Dedede sat on a teeter-totter alone in a playground. Nobody wanted to play with the fat kid. Escargoon had felt bad for Dedede so he asked if he wanted to play. Dedede asked him to get on the teeter-totter and he did. Dedede jumped on and made Escargoon fly into the air. Escargoon slammed into the ground. Dedede gasped. "Are you alright?"

Escargoon responded "Yeah. It's just a boo boo." They had been friends ever since.

Dedede cried harder. In defense of Dedede, Escargoon yelled " What do you mean?! He's DDDelicous! You can grate cheese on those abs!" This only caused more laughter.

Dedede felt more and more rage well up inside of him until he shouted "I never get any respect! NEVER! YOU'LL ALL PAY FOR THIS!" He ran off screaming and jumped off the Halberd in a suicide attempt.

_Where is the moment we needed the most_

_You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost_

_They tell me your blue skies fade to gray_

_They tell me your passion's gone away_

_And I don't need no carryin' on_

_You stand in the line just to hit a new low_

_You're faking a smile with the coffee you go_

_You tell me your life's been way off line_

_You're falling to pieces every time_

_And I don't need no carryin' on_

_Because you had a bad day_

_You're taking one down_

_You sing a sad song just to turn it around_

_You say you don't know_

_You tell me don't lie_

_You work at a smile and you go for a ride_

_You had a bad day_

_The camera don't lie_

_You're coming back down and you really don't mind_

_You had a bad day_

_You had a bad day_

As these lyrics went through Dedede's head, he felt someone grab onto him. It was Escargoon.

"Don't throw your life away!" Dedede yelled.

Escargoon responded, "I'm not! I'm saving you!"

"I can't be saved! We're both doomed!" screamed Dedede.

"I've done this before, remember? When you jumped on the teeter-totter? I went 500 feet into the air and landed with a single boo boo! I can save us!" They landed on the castle, relatively unscathed. "How do you like them apples?!" yelled Escargoon. Dedede grunted. "Are you OK?" asked Escargoon.

"Yeah. Just a little boo boo." said Triple D. They both laughed.

On the Halberd, everyone was stunned. Blade walked up to Meta Knight. "I don't believe it! Dedede and Escargoon… gone for good." Meta Knight was silent. He wasn't sure the King was dead. He filed this incident under "Highly Suspicious".

Dedede walked into his throne room. Dedede was furious. He wanted the citizens of Cappytown to pay for his misery. Before, when he was angry, he would just order a monster. But he couldn't do that now… Nightmare Enterprises was no more. However, he decided to push the big button once more, just to calm his nerves. The TV turned on. To Dedede's surprise, there was a man in a purple suit with his back to him on the screen. Dedede knew who it was. He shouted, "I thought you were DEAD!"

The figure slowly turned around. "NOT… QUITE… DEAD" he said. The NME Salesman was definitely alive… but looked very different. Half of his face was completely charred, but the other half was perfectly preserved. However, the scariest new feature was a strange reflection of something in the orange sunglasses, but Dedede couldn't make it out.

"So, How can I help you, King Dedede?" asked the Sales Guy.

Dedede got over his shock and suddenly felt powerful again. This is just what he needed. "I need something that will destroy the residents of Dream Land for good."

The Sales Guy smiled. "Of course Dedede. We've got just the thing for absolute destruction. An airborne virus. It comes in this vial." The Sales Guy held up a small vial. "However, the one problem is whoever opens this vial to release the virus will automatically be killed because the toxins are so strong in such concentrated amounts. Put it into a ventilation system to get it flowing and it will quickly solve your problem." Dedede was thrilled. "Sounds perfect! …Wait… What can I do to protect myself from this virus?" he asked.

"We will provide you with a giant sterile bubble to protect yourself." the Sales Guy responded.

"Excellent!" Dedede shouted. "Now, what exactly does this virus do?" he asked. "Excellent question. It acts like the Bubonic Plague. Some side effects include turning some citizens into man-eating zombies that travel by night. But don't worry. You'll be safe. Dream Land will be destroyed before you can say 'Black Death.'" Dedede laughed ."Sounds like my kind of virus. Send some to Papa D."

"Sure thing, King." In a flash of light, the vial appeared on the teleportation platform. The Sales Guy grinned and said, "Have fun with your virus, King!" The screen went black.

Dedede smiled to himself as he picked up the vial. He looked at it and smiled as he contemplated the possibilities. Suddenly, a chilling thought struck him. "…Who should I get to release it?" he asked out loud.

"Me!" shouted a voice from behind. Dedede turned quickly. Escargoon stood there.

With tears in his eyes, Dedede asked "Are you sure you wanna do this?" Escargoon responded, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life"

Dedede hesitated, then gave the virus to Escargoon. "Now, I can show you my true loyalty." said Escargoon. Then, he began to sing:

_You're way too beautiful girl_

_That's why it will never work_

_You had me suicidal, suicidal_

Dedede cried as he listened to those lyrics.

"Save it for later, Big D." said Escargoon. "You gave me a mission and I will finish it." Escargoon grabbed the vial and a jet pack. He flew up into the sky, toward the Halberd.

Escargoon landed in the Halberd's ventilation system. He looked at the vial. "This is it! I have to do this." He touched the cork, then stopped. "No I can't! …But I must!" He pulled the cork out. THE VIRUS WAS RELEASED.

At first, Escargoon didn't feel anything, but after a few seconds, his nose started to bleed. His eyes felt bloodshot. "NO! I DON"T WANNA DIE!" He began to cry, but it didn't feel like tears. He put a hand to his eyes and realized he was crying blood. "NO! NO! NO!" He now knew there was no chance of survival. His mouth tasted like blood. He regurgitated a bloody drumstick and soon after, his own organs. They began to melt and change colors from red to green. He tried to scream but blood gushed out of his mouth. It was like a scene from a horror movie.

He noticed a tickling feeling on the top of his head. It almost felt like salt. HE WAS MELTING. He noticed his heart beating slower. His skin was half melted, yet he was still alive. He felt his skull melting and imagined his brain would fall out soon. He looked down and was horrified to see his exposed stomach. Both his arms were now purple puddles on the ground. His heart beat even slower, the sound echoing in his head. All he could see was the red of blood. But then, slowly, a horrible figure emerged in the darkness. This filled Escargoon with more terror than ever before. He couldn't tell who it was. It had flames surrounding it. It almost seemed familiar, but he had no idea who it was. That's when his brain fell out. The rest was so indescribably horrid it can't be put into words.

In the Halberd's main chamber, a strange gas began to flow out of the vents. It went unnoticed by most, but not to the trained eyes of Meta Knight. He quickly located his nearest comrade, Sword.

"What's that?" asked Sword, looking to where Meta Knight was pointing.

"It seems to be coming out of the vents. Let's go check it out." said Meta Knight.

Meta Knight and Sword entered the large ventilation ducts and split up to find the source of the gas. It wasn't long before Meta Knight heard a horrified shout.

"Meta Knight!" Sword's voice yelled, "Get over here! I found something!" Meta Knight ran towards Sword's voice until he entered a large duct to see Sword kneeling next to a purple puddle. Floating in the puddle was a shell, and green tufts of hair.

"What do you think it is, Sir?" Sword asked. Meta Knight dipped his finger in the puddle and licked it.

"Escargoon." He said. They stared, horrified at the snail's remains.

Eventually, Sword found his voice and said "But, Sir, he jumped off the Halberd! How did he make it up here again? And where's the King?"

Meta Knight looked at the small jet pack lying near the wall. "Well, there's one answer." Then, something else caught his eye. "We've made a deadly mistake, Sword." said Meta Knight.

"What do you mean, Sir? Sword asked.

"Look." Meta Knight picked up the vial.

"This vial contains a deadly virus. Courtesy of NME and DDD." read Sword.

"I'm guessing what we see on the ground is the result of the virus." said Meta Knight.

"It's weird that the virus showed up on the same day Dedede attempted suicide." Sword said.

Meta Knight looked at him. "The keyword is 'attempted'. Think about it. He said we would pay for our lack of respect. Maybe this is his twisted idea of revenge."

"But, how did he get the virus? We destroyed Nightmare Enterprises!" shouted Sword.

Meta Knight looked at the vial. "Or did we?" he responded. "However, at this point, it doesn't matter. By now, we've all probably been exposed to this virus." They both shuddered. Suddenly, they heard someone shout their names.

"Meta Knight! Sword! Where are you?" It came from the vents. It was Blade.

"We're in here, Blade!" Meta Knight shouted. Blade ran over to Meta Knight and Sword.

"GUGFSGVSGHMETA KNIGHTSERTSYGH HDGUYSJHJHJKDEAD!!"

"Slow down, Blade! Take deep breaths and tell us what's wrong." Sword said, trying to calm Blade down. Blade took deep breaths and related what had happened:

"I was in the bathroom for a couple minutes and then I heard screaming. I came out to see what happened and everyone was either a puddle or gone!"

Meta Knight sighed. "The virus has already taken effect."

"Virus?" asked Blade. Meta Knight nodded.

"But… why isn't anything happening to us, Sir?" Sword asked.

"Good question… We can only hope that we happen to be immune to this virus." Meta Knight looked at his followers.

"Orders, Sir?" Blade said.

Meta Knight was silent for a moment. Then he turned his back to them and said, "We find a cure. But first, let's go look for other survivors."

"Yes, Sir!" Sword and Blade saluted, then they both ran to the main part of the ship However, Meta Knight stayed for a moment.

He turned to Escargoon's puddle and said, "I don't know why you tried to kill me, but now you're dead." In the puddle, he saw a reflection of a figure surrounded by flames. He couldn't tell who or what it was, but it caused hatred to well up inside of him. He kicked the puddle and ran to catch up with Sword and Blade.

_Author's Note: You can listen to our dramatic rendition of this chapter on our Youtube Channel (PikaknightFT1). We will be posting more of these "audiofics" on Youtube, if you'd rather listen than read.- PikaknightFT1_


End file.
